Tag Archives: SAD lamp

Cause it makes me that much stronger, Makes me work a little bit harder

I have been a member of the Spoonie community for a lot longer than I realised, I was diagnosed with a chronic liver condition (autoimmune hepatitis) when I was 24, and will be taking medication to keep it in check for the rest of my life. But as long as my liver behaves itself it really doesn’t have a huge impact on my life, you wouldn’t know I was unwell at all, no time off work, no physical difficulties, but then I became really sick a few years ago and I became a fully fledged member. Hello, chronic pain and chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia and arthritis!

It often feels like these are impossible conditions to live with and I really do mean ‘live’, because at it’s very very worst it doesn’t feel like you are living. You barely exist and often feel like you are actually dying, of pain or exhaustion, of memory loss, of the inability to think at all. It is utterly and completely soul destroying and you don’t even need the wee small hours of the morning to impress upon you the isolation, the unending trauma and the fact that no one at all can tell you when and if you will ever feel any better than you do right now. Draaammmmaaaa! Well, no, not really. I have often heard people refer to different phases of their lives, such as before children and after children, but my life is defined by before chronic pain and after it started. I cannot impress upon anyone how completely my life has been altered by this condition, I have no control over my own ability to function. Told you I wasn’t being dramatic.

But I am a very practical soul and have spent, and continue to spend, a great deal of time reading up about developments in my conditions The British Medical Journal is always a great source of info for latest studies and research and I have seen some of the doctors I have found through this research. I refuse to believe that this is it, that the medical profession has reached their conclusions and that there will never be a better way to treat my illnesses. I have investigated and tried many medications and assistance aids over the years and, while I am not going to write about the meds right now, I thought I would share some of the assistance aid purchases that I have made that have actually helped.

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My faithful Yuyu

First up is the Yuyu, a long hot water bottle that you can sling around your neck, it comes with a tie at each end so it can tie it security around your back and walk around quite happily. Why no one has thought of this before I have no idea but I quite happily wear mine under my coat on old winter days when I collect Lu from school, I suffer from excruciating pain around my right shoulder blade so I can manoeuvre this like a jaunty sash and it eases the pain. Cold is a real issue for exacerbating my pain so this has been a godsend. They are a little dear, starting at £33, but to me, mine has been worth every single penny and maybe something to ask for as a Christmas gift.

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Multitasking. Please excuse my terrible taste in Tv programmes. Catfish is a real weakness of mine.

My second useful item is a bed desk on legs, specifically made to use with a laptop so it has holes allowing the computer to cool down. No more hot laps and wondering if your computer is going to go into literal meltdown as you binge-watch Netflix as sometimes when bedridden box sets are the only thing that one can do to pass the time. I got mine from Amazon.

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All the hospital glamour.

My next recommendation may seem slightly odd but works for me. Soft blankets, the fleecy type, when my skin hurts and I ache inside the thing that helps the most is lying on one in bed and having one to cover me, its something about the softness that I find comforting, a bit obscure, maybe its a infantile cozy security issue that one needs to fulfil when feeling so so sick but it does help my pain. I took one to hospital with me to lie on when I had my last procedure and I tell you it made it more bearable, even if I did get odd looks. I have a few of these ones and a few of these. They are relatively cheap, Primark does good ones as do most supermarkets.

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This doesn’t come with a cover, the thing you can see to the left is part of the Starship Enterprise that Lucia has been making out of a cardboard box.

Next is a lightbox. Being inside so often, not always able to do the obligatory go outside and see the daylight means I suffer from SAD, and actually I have for an awfully long time so to address this I got myself one of these and it has made a huge difference to my mood, I’m not composing poems to the beautiful sun but I am feeling less blah. I pop it next to my bed, in my living room or on my desk, whenever I go it comes with me and I have it one for maybe an hour a day.

Finally, let me introduce you to the thing has diminished my physical pain by the most. It is a neck support memory foam pillow which has a large or small hump, depending on which side of the pillow you use. I don’t really know how to describe it, so when you put your head on it your neck is supported and your head almost dips back to what would seem a much more natural position when sleeping, it is hands down the best thing I have ever bought and the thing that I cannot be without. I take it on holiday with me, I take it everywhere I will be sleeping. See the photo for the humps and a soft blanket thrown in.

It is worth noting that all of these aids are portable and the fact that I can take them with me places means that I can go places without having to reap not only the tiredness of travel but also the setbacks caused by compromised comfort.

Amazon also deserves a shout out for those of us who are housebound or lead lives of unpredictable ability. I pay the subscription for Prime next day delivery and it has been my saviour, my contact to the outside world. Let’s face it chronic illness means our best-laid plans are often thrown into turmoil within a matter of hours and something that was as simple as a drive to shops to pick up a gift for someone’s birthday becomes an impossibility. So it has enabled me to order everything from birthday gifts for my daughter’s friends parties to straw for our house rabbit, all delivered in a timely manner. Mostly.

I have no affiliation to any of these companies but thought others may find this information useful, either for yourself and or someone you know.

But the last day of summer Never felt so cold

This year summer seems to be over as soon as it began for the school age children. All the good sunny weather happened before they broke up but I am pleasantly surprised that it remains light for so long in the evening still, 9pm last night. I know this specifically because I went to bed for a nice afternoon nap at 3pm having got home from work and a lovely lunch catch up with a friend. I woke up at 8.30pm and was completely confused, I thought it was morning because of the daylight outside, I was in a completely disorientated panic which lasted about half an hour. Horrid adrenal pumping head ache inducing way to wake up.

 

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But I know that soon the evenings will be drawing  in and eventually I will find myself in a subterranean like world of leaving for work in the dark and returning home in the dark. I am a huge fan of autumn and winter, of Christmas and lamplight (so good on the complexion), of cosy blankets and bed socks but equally I suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).

The NHS define it as follows:

“Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that comes and goes in a seasonal pattern.

SAD is sometimes known as “winter depression” because the symptoms are more apparent and tend to be more severe during the winter.

The symptoms often begin in the autumn as the days start getting shorter. They’re typically most severe during December, January and February.

SAD often improves and disappears in the spring and summer, although it may return each autumn and winter in a repetitive pattern.

Symptoms of SAD

Symptoms of SAD can include:

  • a persistent low mood
  • a loss of pleasure or interest in normal everyday activities
  • irritability
  • feelings of despair, guilt and worthlessness
  • feeling lethargic (lacking in energy) and sleepy during the day
  • sleeping for longer than normal and finding it hard to get up in the morning
  • craving carbohydrates and gaining weight

For some people, these symptoms can be severe and have a significant impact on their day-to-day activities.”

If I am not mindful then it can end up utterly flooring me. It doesn’t happen over night, it is the slow creeping in of lethargy, equaled to the diminishing of day light. Life starts to feel flat, if I don’t start dragging myself back up he hill at that point then the feeling can remain with me for months.

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I have no magic remedy, though I have found SAD lights to be very effective, 10 mins a day while at work. I have been lucky enough to have at least one exceptionally hot and sunny holiday each year so I feel I stock up on sunshine and energy. But I am also kind to myself, darkness does produce lethargy, that is normal, just as the spring sunshine makes us want to throw on coats and go on long fresh walks.

I’m not trying to wish summer and sunshine away but I know from experience that now is the time to start thinking about where I put my SAD lamp, time to transition into the new season in the healthiest way I can.

Marking the transition of seasons, as ridiculous as it may sound, helps too, so it isn’t just the long stretch towards Christmas (the best time of the year ever) that we are waiting for. And I love an excuse for a celebration. One of my favorites is the Autumn Equinox, Mabon, it happens around 21st-24th September, the The White Goddess tells us the story behind it:

“Mabon marks the middle of harvest, it is a time of equal day and equal night, and for the moment nature is in balance. It is a time to reap what you have sown, of giving thanks for the harvest and the bounty the Earth provides. For finishing up old projects and plans and planting the seeds for new enterprises or a change in lifestyle. Mabon is a time of celebration and balance.

This is the time to look back not just on the past year, but also your life, and to plan for the future. In the rhythm of the year, Mabon is a time of rest and celebration, after the hard work of gathering the crops. Warm autumn days are followed by chill nights, as the Old Sun God returns to the embrace of the Goddess.

The passing of Mabon is inevitable and The Sun God should be mourned. We too, must remember that all things must come to an end. So the Sun God journeys into the lands of winter and into the Goddess’ loving arms, but endings are a good time to celebrate our successes, thank our selves and those who helped us, and take part in the balance of life!”

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