The seasons feel like they have finally changed and I now actually feel like spring has sprung. Daffodils are brightening up the grassy banks in my town and they are cheap as chips at Tesco so I can buy loads of them to brighten up the house too.
Unfortunately I have not been filled with desire to spring clean but I do find myself unable to pass interior decorating magazines without purchasing at least one. This could also be to do with the really exciting news that Lulu and I now own our very own home for the first time ever!! I know!
It was part of the divorce agreement that my soon to be ex and I had drawn up. We bought the house Lu and I live in together 5 years ago, tore it down and built it back up, one floor board and ceiling at a time – in an exhausting 12 week period. We saved ourselves stupid to buy this place, sold our things, lived off baked potatoes and finally had a good deposit after 12 months. I love this house so much but all good things must come to an end and when my husband left it looked pretty likely that the house would have to be sold and Lu and I would have to move to a rented flat but after a lot of negotiating he and I reached a financial agreement that suited us both. Then there was lots of form filling, appointments with the bank, an anxious few weeks waiting my own mortgage to be approved and now the whole thing is mine all mine, as is a massive heart pounding mortgage but I try not to think too much about that part.
My mum brought me up by herself, and has always drummed into me the importance of paying your rent first out of all the bills, or a mortgage payment as is now the case. You can live without gas and electricity – you can, really. When I was a child we did, money was a little scarce so a battery powered radio, a camping stove and candles would do the trick, almost romantic except we were in basement flat in London with no carpet or furniture but hey, it could have been worse!. The most important thing was that the rent was paid so we had a roof over our heads and that practical lesson has stuck with me.
I’m rather proud of myself for being able to reach this stage, but I didn’t do it alone. My mum always has faith in my ability, my friends keep encouraging me in my bid to re build my life and now I think that I am very nearly there. The final step in compete closure of the practical elements my old life will be the finalisation of my divorce. Its pretty much just a paper exercise at this point but I like to have everything sign, sealed and delivered before I crack open the fizz, then maybe, just maybe, I will able to have the first good nights sleep in a very very long time.