Ring a Ring o’ Roses

Lulu started primary school last week, she was very excited and literally ran there on day one and two, on day three it wasn’t such a happy tale. I got home from work and asked her how her day had been, she didn’t want to talk but eventually told me that her teacher had been ‘cross with her’ because she had stood in the wrong line, that the class room and play ground were too big and full of lots of children and she kept getting bumped and then she started crying and told me that none of the other children wanted to play with her. My heart literally shattered. It was my very worst fear, I could write meal planners and timetables and label as many jumpers as possible but I couldn’t control the politics at school. My little girl had no friends and everyone did. Lulu was one of only eight other children joining in Reception that hadn’t been in the nursery attached to the school so everyone else did know each other pretty much, but she had come from a full time nursery and had always been chatty and made friends easily so I hadn’t been too concerned. I discussed the matter with my mum who drops her off and collects her and she spoke with Lulu’s from teacher the next morning who said Lu seemed to be settling in well but she would keep an eye on her.


I didn’t make too much of an issue about it that evening and she said school had been fine, but the next morning she said she felt poorly and didn’t want to go to school, the ‘parents dilemma’. Lulu is a very stoic child and not really a moaner or complainer but who hasn’t said they felt sick in order to get out of doing something they don’t like? She said her throat hurt but I convinced her to go to school and that if she still felt sick to tell the teacher who would call nanny to come and collect her. That was Friday morning.

Two hours late she was home with a very high temperature, by Sunday we were at the hospital and they diagnosed laryngitis, the next day we were back at the doctor due to dehydration and finally day, Wednesday, she is almost 100% better. I’ve had to take take two days off work and she has been stuck to be like a limpet, she lost her voice and sobbed in pain for three nights, she hasn’t eaten since Friday but she has asked to watch a film and will spend more than 5 minutes without me next to her so its looking positive.


I now worry that missing these days at school may have set back re the whole ‘making friends’ thing but, back to school she must go, even though she is already reminding me that she doesn’t like it. I am sure that it will all work out fine in the end but there is a tiny bit of me that really worries that it won’t, what can I do? I’m completely powerless, I can’t make the other children be her friends, I guess its just a waiting game. Something we all had to go through during our first days of school, which I remember clearly were rubbish. I started school two weeks later than everyone else and they had already all paired up when I arrived but eventually I made good friends. Maybe it’s my own experience that is making me more anxious than necessary about Lulu making friends, fitting in, I’m trying to be stoic too and can but hope that she starts to enjoy the whole ‘going to school’ experience soon.

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  1. Relax, you are a great Mum, which you know and Lu is a very confident and wonderful little girl. My experience when Ben started for the first time was that as a parent I didn’t connect with other parents for maybe two months, no-one knew each other and it was scary. Ben, well he’s an outgoing kinda chap and did alright for himself.

    Lu has only missed a few days and in the big scheme of the universe it will go unnoticed. I could offer some tips for integrating her with the other children as I observe and can see how things are right now.

    The laryngitis thing, according to my ‘health bible’ by Louise Hay, is about being so mad that you can’t speak, fear of speaking up and resentment of authority. Well, that makes sense to me as to where things are for Lu. The affirmation to help her is that she is free to ask for whatever she wants and that she is free to express herself and is safe and at peace.

    I see children in the playground who haven’t integrated just yet because of the fears of their parents/carers. My advice is to let them be who they want to be and do what they want to do as long as they are safe.

    Sending love and care, you’re doing great. xx

    Posted 9.16.15 Reply
    • Duvet days wrote:

      Thank you lovely, I do enjoy Louise Hay very much and it does make sense. Her fears are definitely connected to the fact that her ‘world’ has suddenly become very much bigger, which in turn means she is being exposed to more. I hope she will develop the skills to find her little place in the universe ans be happy there. M x

      Posted 9.17.15 Reply
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