I’m jealous of the way the rain falls upon your skin.

I have previously written about the “Cult of busy”, and I still feel that society seems to equate being busy with being successful, its the grown up version of being popular at school I suppose. “Can’t stop, I’m super busy right now” read- “I am so amazing at what I do that everyone wants a piece of me, and I still look amazing, I shag my husband four times a week and I go to the gym before work. blah blah blah.” I may be exaggerating but really, is this the aspirational lifestyle we as women are faced with? It must be to some extent or so many women wouldn’t claim to be living it.

Or do we fall into the other camp? the recent rise of the “slummy mummy”. “Oh I don’t feed my kids organic fish fingers  and I’m always rushing to get them to the school gates on time”(as I stand in my gorgeous Boden jumper – tap for credits), read – “I’m not a prefect mummy but goodness don’t I look good without trying. I’m not a slave to convention yet I am raising fantastic children”. This has become aspirational too. It is all starting to feel too curated. I appreciate that we all curate our lives to a certain extent, before the rise of social media too, we present to the world what we want them to see, the version of us that we wish we could be or would be all the time.

I know what you see is not reality but sometimes I just can’t help it. “Why aren’t I as pretty/glamorous/dynamic/exciting/dynamic/successful as her?” Errr, because we are all different, I am me and that is OK. And “she” is normally at least 10 years younger than me. See how I set myself up for a fall?.

Am I jealous? yes. Does this make me feel good? No. Does it mean I am not satisfied with my own life? Maybe. Does that worry me? Yes. Compare and contrast is a hideously self destructive game to play. We really are our own worst enemies as well as our very best cheerleaders but at the times that the negative takes over it is often hard to see a way back.




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